Loganthinks

LOGAN:
so i was watching TV

and since the doctor cut out my Ovaries and Vagina back at the SPCA

i felt like that planned parenthood commercial really spoke to me.

"If i wait to have sex...
there's no gaurantee...
that i won't become the next black doctor female astronaut president...

but if i wait have sex...

you won't not never know."

Um, so if that actually means "don't have sex", then damn straight.

Now if only everyone knew that pot gets you pregnant and sneaks handguns into your father's unlocked desk drawer.

Luke Wilson is a tool.

Old School was funny.

Stupid weekend, some of the regular fights with the missus. Paul is a miracle of academics because he is still in school, but more power to him for it - i'd do a shot with him now if he weren't off somewhere being a vagitron. Jenn's computer is a gigantic pain in the ass to type on so there's not much thats gonna get said right now i dont think, unless i get really bored.

I'm sure that everyone who writes on these types of things figures out pretty quick , like i have, that anything topical about my life i'd actually want to write about is kind of useless because the people i bitch about will probably end up reading it. I guess i shouldn't be a puss and care about that shit, but i'm living in this nice little cocoon where things are sucky but at least they're comfortable, and i haven't felt enough like changing that to do anything out of the routine in quite a while... I sleep till 3 for fucksakes, just because days suck.
i mean, i've taken a 2 day break from drinking and i 'm already bored.

And im not on my own computer so i can't follow through with my promise to post stuff thats not whining about problems. Well fuck that.

Somewhere this evening when Jenn and i were "not talking to eachother" in the car, I decided that I'll bitch when i want to, and i'll write mundane shit about mundane events in my mundane life when i want. and when i'm drunk, i'll write incoherently. and when i'm sober, and on my own computer, i'll post other stuff like the lame fiction i've been writing. I guess that's what this fucker's for

I wish that Logan could bail me out here, but Logan doesn't have much to say right now. but she sleeps like 17 hours a day, so...

tonight is crap...

onward

LOGAN:
is currently snorring with her head wedged under the desk.

Earlier:

(Dennis Hopper is strapped with Dynamite staring down a really stupid looking Keanu Reeves in the beginning of Speed)

Keanu: "FREEZE! You've got nowhere to go!"

(this is a tense moment, fags)

Dennis: "Fuck no, slut. I got a Bomb"

Keanu: "I'm serious dude, like - i'm a cop"

Dennis: (fed up) "POP QUIZ HOTSHOT...I've got a bomb and a Hostage - WHAT DO YOU DO?"

Logan: "WOOF!"

Then Keanu shoots his partner in the leg and the bomb goes off and all sorts of shit blows up.

Logan: "FUCK!"

Jenn: "I'm hungry, lets eat Paul's food"

Logan: "Snap bitch, hook me up"

BONG.

-Logz

Fuck yea night of sobriety...

The party's in my pants tonight - I talked to Matthias and he's all wasted so i went and sent him the bartending mixes for the Full Moon Saloon's Oatmeal Cookie shooter and some fucked up version of the Dirty Bannana that we drank in Jamaica.

Paul's going back to Jamaica with some new people and Justin, and the trip is supposedly Alex Cenko free... We're likely not to see him alive agin, but at least he beat Metroid Prime before he's due to dissappear, so he won't regret that in his moment of death somewhere in the jungle by Mr. Slice's place.

The real reason i even wrote again tonight was i finally beat PAR on my BBC shootingstars Krazy Golf, and all you wannabe putt putters can salute Deez fat nuts because it's taken me like 4 months to do that. Try for yourself if you like to get frustrated and beat your keyboard.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/comedy/shootingstars/games/krazy_golf/

go for it.

Shindog thinks i'm trying to hook him up with my grilfreind now. Its pretty much been like that. When i get bored of writing pointless shit i think i'm going to start putting up stories instead of complaining becaue I'm still not over how Uber lame it is for self-involved pseudo philosphers and little Nietzsches to keep web diaries of all their pesonal tragedies. Obviously i'm a big hyppocrite and a bad speller (tho i got Nietzsche right fags) since i keep this log, but i like to think the purposes this thing will serve are going to be for Logan when She and I are Drunk, and for me to force myself to write everyday so i don't forget how to do what it is that I'm supposed to have a swanky "Hopkins" degree in.

aight - i'm off to dream of Dragon Rolls and all-i-can-eat Crab legs at Jade Garden. You should go.

Dave, if they dropped the bomb tommorow, I wouldn't be happy enough yet but i'm working on it.

-g

Matthias likes the company of men.

Paul has just puked his whole Loco Hombre Burrito on the floor after doing a power hour next door. I've been drunk since last thursday and it's recently its really been taking the fun out of doing stuff - don't worry tho, i'm not going to go emo on everyone here and start whining in fancy "college boy" speak about my life spinning out of control... I got too much work to do this month to be whining anyways. I'm gonna be like Keanu Reaves in "hardball" next week cuz i've got to teach a bunch of inner city kids about the SAT, and i'm about as inner city as a panda bear. It's cool tho, cuz i'm gonna give them all nicknames like "G baby" and "sweetness" and we're gonna go for pizza and i'll get them new uniforms and...

YEa, so i got that going for me.

Also on the menu is the GRE, which i plan to unload the proverbial SHIT on - altho i've been studying for the paper version and as of now it looks like i'm set for the computer test, which is a wee bit different. but fuck em, i eat GRE's fo breakfast.

I'm stalling on that Harper's Magazine internship candidacy test tho, it's due mid april but as the days go on i feel more and more outclassed by such a prestigious publication. I mean, recently there have been days where paul and i wake up at 5PM, sit around unshowered and watch eachother play video games before getting 40's and watching all the worst of what comcast has to offer until 6 AM.

Jenn's burping and trying to show how gross she can be. Awesome.

Logan's sleeping, but i'm sure she'll post soon. She's got "X GONNA GIVE IT TO YA" stuck in her head and i'm sick of her singing it.

ok Jenn's being wierd, time to go.

All the best of luck to paul tonight, he's destined for puking his guts out if he goes to Phi Psi... but too late. Lets just hope he doesnt try and slip it to Dan's sister...

shamless, vagitron.

shameless.

So Gabe's good freind Danny the Monkey Drummer has updated the template of this page to some sort of fruit arrangement theme that i am less than cool with, but so be it... my paws are still adapting to this wierd keyboard so it's going to be a while before i actaually get to change my site to something badass like a jacked Keeshound throwing down some sick jujitsu move on some dopey squirell. I know, we all want to see that, but yalls gotta have patience. woof, motherfuckers, till next time.

Haha! So logan is in tha house now that Gabe and all his gay roomates are gone drinking - hopeully this will be the most shitzoprhenic, contradictory, and misspelled blog around, but it wont really matter cuz i plan on telling all of NOBODY about this site... after all, the only other dogs i know is that bitch lab who lives next door and eats her own shit. Damn girl, i mean, that's been out your ASS. But hey, if i were a guy dog i'd hit that. So now i'm going to go back to skulking under paul's bed until peopel get home so i can bark until gabe walks my ass. More to come, my fictional audience, so stay the NUT tuned. woof.